Hell Hath No Fury

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

Contrary to popular belief, this phrase isn't actually what was originally written. It was adapted from a line in a play written by William Congreve in 1697. The actual line went 'Heav'n has no rage, like love to hatred turn'd, Nor hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd'. Sounds like women even in the 1690s had some rage issues.

Do I have rage issues? Today, yes I absolutely do. Today, I am furious. I am seething. I am incensed, enraged, infuriated and any other synonym you can find for 'angry'. Rather than suppressing it, I am embracing my rage. I'm letting my inner 'woman scorn'd' fuel and consume me. 

I went through the process with the Child Maintenance Service (CMS) as I had been advised to. I followed all the steps and was told to have faith in the system. I did, stupidly. Today, I'm told that they have calculated the amount that C should pay me to feed, clothe and care for our two children. They came up with... £25 a week. This isn't £25 for each child. This is in total for both children. For £25 a week, I am expected to buy groceries, keep a roof over their heads, provide the summer clothing they both need, buy school uniforms, and all the gazillion other expenses that comes with two teenage girls. They said he earns around £210 a week. This is the guy who around 3 months ago was boasting that he could comfortably retire now. That he's going to buy a big 5-bedroom house for him and his girlfriend. This is the same guy who has a holiday booked for St Lucia. His rent is £1500 a month - how is he paying that exactly?

I have no idea how he's managed to cheat the system to show his earnings are so low. The amount he supposedly earns is way below the national minimum wage. He owns a successful business that has produced profits every year since it was formed. He drives a fairly new truck and buys expensive gadgets for himself and his new family. The CMS clearly took him at his word that he earns a pittance.

I recall some years ago, a good friend of mine went through a nasty break-up with her partner. They have a son together who is now a scarily tall teenage boy, making me feel both old and short. When his father left, he was clear about his intentions; in order to avoid paying child support, he simply wouldn't work. Or at least, he wouldn't declare any earnings. C's reaction to this was somewhere in the same field as the wrath I feel today. He was disgusted and appalled that a father would fail his own child this way. Regardless of what happens between the parents, they both have a moral obligation to provide and care for their child/children. He of course would never, ever behave that way; his children would always come first. 

That conversation didn't age too well for him, did it?

I'm told I can appeal the decision, and request that the CMS investigate his earnings. So that will be my job next week, on top of the million other tasks I have to take care of. I don't have the same faith now, because he is incredibly underhanded and devious. He can also afford expert solicitors and accountants that will be able to hide his money from me and the CMS. I can barely afford my rent this month and we definitely won't be having any takeaways, never mind buying summer clothes. I still need to pursue the divorce and the associated financial settlement, but he's had a lot of time to hide and move his money, so I don't hold out much hope. It's one thing to actively avoid paying me money, it's quite another to intentionally withhold it from his children. 

So for that reason, I am definitely the kind of woman scorn'd that William Congreve had in mind. Hell definitely hath no fury like I currently hath. I wish I was Greek, so I could smash plates. Actually, if I'm wishing for things, I wish I could publicly financially eviscerate my darling(!) ex-husband, the 'father' to my children, the man who swore his children would never go without as he would do everything in his power to provide for them. I want everyone to see him for the narcissistic, selfish, uncaring, lying prick that he is. 

I'm coming for him. Because while he may not be willing to live up to his promise, I am. I will do everything in my power to provide for my children. I will make damn sure their father doesn't get away with shirking his responsibilities. If that means I have to personally search and examine every single corner of every one of hell's circles, then I'm on my way. I'll be bringing my scorn with me.